kate + lemonade
Often, people don’t want advice. They want to vent, to be heard, to explore how they think and feel, and to connect—to not feel so alone.
When someone tells me about a problem they’re having and I give advice, it shuts down all those objectives. I seem like a know-it-all (who doesn’t actually know it all). And the other person feels distanced from me—more alone than ever.
So why do I do it? Because I’m…
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride
To paraphrase the wonderful Captain Awkward, “This book is for everyone, woman or otherwise, whether your mother was narcissistic or not.” [1] It is life-changing.
1. “Thank you for your concern.”
Example prompt: “I wouldn’t wear that if I were you.”
What can they say in response—”I wasn’t concerned, I was just trolling”? Exactly.[1]