kate + lemonade
Often, people don’t want advice. They want to vent, to be heard, to explore how they think and feel, and to connect; to not feel so alone.
When someone tells me about a problem they’re having and I give advice, it shuts down all those objectives. I seem like a know-it-all (who doesn’t actually know it all). And the other person feels distanced from me—more alone than ever.
So why do I do it? Because I’m…
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride
To paraphrase the wonderful Captain Awkward, “This book is for everyone, woman or otherwise, whether your mother was narcissistic or not.” [1] It is life-changing.
1. “Thank you for your concern.”
Example prompt: “I wouldn’t wear that if I were you.”
What can they say in response—”I wasn’t concerned, I was just trolling”? Exactly.[1]