In my first post on abuse, I said not to read the domestic violence chapter (chapter ten, “Intimate enemies”) in The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker.[1] I’ve changed my mind.
What’s wrong with this chapter
Becker implies that on some level, victims choose to be abused—words that are both dangerous and wrong.
Abuse isn’t your fault. You didn’t choose it. It just happened to you.