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How to stop giving (unwanted) advice

April 28, 2022

Often, people don’t want advice. They want to vent, to be heard, to explore how they think and feel, and to connect; to not feel so alone.

When someone tells me about a problem they’re having and I give advice, it shuts down all those objectives. I seem like a know-it-all (who doesn’t actually know it all). And the other person feels distanced from me—more alone than ever.

So why do I do it? Because I’m…

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I’m a spiritual atheist

April 3, 2022

Note: This post is a work in progress. I’ll remove this note when it’s done.

Although I’m an atheist, and always will be, I have had a spiritual awakening.

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Most beauty advice is useless

March 13, 2022

If you’ve tried searching for advice on how to make yourself attractive, you’ve probably noticed a common theme: it’s useless. Here’s why.

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The role of color in costume design

February 20, 2022

“Good” characters typically wear red, blue, and yellow.

Disney princesses: Lots of pink, blue, and yellow. (From left: Jasmine, Snow White, Mulan, Aurora, Cinderella, Pocahontas, Belle, Ariel.)

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How it feels to be in an abusive relationship, part 3: The final part

January 30, 2022

This is part three in a series on how it felt to be in an abusive relationship; see parts one and two.

In another journal entry from many years ago, I wrote:

I’m afraid of so many things, I might as well be afraid of my own shadow.

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True summer: Lady of the lake

December 26, 2021

Note: This post refers to the twelve seasons system of personal color analysis. (My season is true summer.) For an introduction, see Rachel of Truth is Beauty’s post on color analysis.

True summer is a garden of pink roses in full bloom.

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How it feels to be in an abusive relationship, part 2

December 5, 2021

This is a letter to my younger self. This is part two; see parts one and three.

The whole reason people are in abusive relationships is that they will put up with practically anything for the sake of the relationship.

What people don’t understand is the fact that you’re willing to “put up with it” is the result of abuse—not a personal failure to stand up for yourself.

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My best colors in gowns

December 5, 2021

As a true summer, my best colors are pink, purple, blue, green, and pale lemon yellow, plus grey, taupe, and silver-white.

Note: The women below are not true summers, but they’re wearing colors that are (or close enough to illustrate the idea).

Sky blue

Grace Kelly in To Catch a Thief

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The best colors for true summers (my best colors)

November 14, 2021

My “skin twin,” Emily Blunt. Image and color analysis by Rachel of Truth is Beauty.[1]
As a true summer and ethereal soft classic, here are my rules.

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How it feels to be in an abusive relationship

November 7, 2021

This is part one. See parts two and three.

This is, word for word, what I wrote in a journal entry many years ago. I got myself out—this all happened before I started travelling. Still, it is only now that I have become fully aware of what I went through and of the danger I was in at the time.

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email: kate [at] katelade.com