Somehow I don’t think the “sombrero around the neck” trend is going to catch on.
Make a statement about consumer waste by looking like you’re being strangled by a garbage bag.
Imagine seeing someone wearing these and slowly coming to a horrifying realization: there is a foot inside that skin-like leather ankle tube.
To get that sought-after “broad shoulders, hairy chest” look.
This dress was inspired by the way sacrifice victims’ blood spills down the steps of an Aztec pyramid.
Perfect for both the sophisticated kindergartener and the eccentric high-school French teacher.
Metallic charcoal booties are so plain; why not tack on a feather boa to liven things up?
Ursula from The Little Mermaid wears this sweater when she’s feeling subdued, but wants a splash of color to brighten up her mood.
To get that sought-after “blotchy, ham-like calves” look.
A shapeless pea green coat is always in style, but the dead skunks on the sides add that extra je ne sais quoi.
For when you can’t decide between leopard and cow print, but you still want your boots to match your elephant-skin handbag.
Fit for a crazed 1800s schoolteacher.
Crazed schoolteacher in springtime.
This garment will jolt everyone out of complacency, causing all who behold it to question their dearest assumptions. Such as that a pleated arch doesn’t belong on the front of a pair of pants.
Another variant on the pleated-arch style, this time inspired by Cornelius Hawthorne’s hairpiece.
This Halloween, dress up as the main character from Kafka’s Metamorphosis in a sexy cockroach outfit. All you need is an equally crunchy ruched-pleather bustier.
Like a Jackson Pollock painting, if he painted by throwing tufts of multicolored fur at a glue-covered canvas.
These ruffles can’t be contained by some shiny leather—nothing will stop them from bursting forth in exuberant frothiness.
A creative way to repurpose old bath mats.
After Hansel and Gretel exacted their revenge, all that remained in the forest clearing was a single gingerbread crumb, and this boot.
Titillate your audience with a glimpse of your toes peeking out seductively from under a fringed suede curtain.
Let everyone know they mean nothing to you by wearing this coat with sunglasses. All the lesser humans can burn their eyes—YOU look fabulous.
Do you wish more hair would grow from your ears? Now you can fake the look with these chic monkey-fur-covered headphones. Plus, the jewelled tiara lets everyone know you’re a royal monkey.